Pen Merah Pen Biru

June already! Kerja luar hari ni. Tak selalu dapat masuk office lambat.. (^^) June. Da setengah tahun and I did some reflection of my half year growth (in terms of work). I am behind the schedule! (T T). Lembab sikit tahun ni. Sebab tu tak suka nak tukar kerja baru. Tak suka tukar kerja baru masuk tempat kerja yang kena deal dengan saya-yang-menurut-perintah (baca badan-badan kerajaan). Saya-yang-menurut-perintah selalunya akan jadi saya-yang-akan-memerintah. Ye la kita ni kan private firm... I am lucky enough sebab kena birokrasi sipi-sipi je. Tu pun mengeluh la jugak. Semua orang main tolak kerja dekat semua orang. Semua orang nak bagi arahan dekat semua orang. Sangat serabut. Sejak saya balik Malaysia, ni tempat yang saya nak. Ada dalam education line tapi bukan mengajar. I dont have enough of everything (yet). Tapi saya boleh observe rapat-rapat our next generation line. wohoooo.. And I work closely with those who creates the system. Soooooommmuuucchhh more to learn though. Bu...

Lately.. Kita asyik emo je. Tambah-tambah bila pegang stereng pepagi. Kawan kita cakap, pepagi semua orang pun nak emo. Kat stereng kereta tu ada hantu agaknya. Bila pegang je terus naik hantu. Hahaha! Epik! and everything else lately. Tak best. Tak best. Jadi.. Saya telah lancarkan kempen untuk diri sendiri.. Drum rolllllll "7 days of happy day. Only Happiness is allowed." Jyeahhh! Selamat bergembira.. Let the negative peoples and negative things pass you by like a rubbish truck. Dont bother dont care. Tutup hidung, jalan terus. [How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours]

For the past year, I've been praying and hoping, wishing, longing just for you to come back and we can start all over again. You left with a heartbroken of yours and so did mine. And I never stop praying and hoping for you to come back. And you did. And i thought we can start over again. Thats what I thought. Maybe, what we thought. But, then something is different. And i'm amazed at how times can changed peoples so damn much. You are here. Handsomely, gorgeously maybe more than before. But i found something was lacking. And I finally learn something. True, Allah will grant your every single wish. Just say your prayer. And He also loves you soommmuch more than you could imagine. More than anyone could imagine. He grant your every wish but never he let you be by yourself. "nah amik kau. Nak sangat kan. Rasakan" Never. I've got what I wish. Allah gave me what I wish just to let me know that what I've been asking for all these while is not actuall...

Why did you come back? Why did you ever come back? After all the hardships I've went through. After all the mess you left me in. After all this while, why did you come back? And why did I ever care? You are digital. Either 1 or 0. And.. You should never respond to any of these. Ever. [How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours]

Satu tengahari, kawan saya whassap, "abis tu kau nak stay ke?" 5 minit, 10 minit, 15 minit, blurr. Saya tak reply. Tempoh 15 minit untuk reply whassap satu ayat tu adalah tempoh yang lama bagi saya. "kalau kau guna term 'stay' utk tanya soalan dekat aku sekarang ni, susah aku nak jawab. sebab ada banyak benda untuk term 'stay' aku nak kena fikir. So, 'stay' mana satu yang kau maksudkan?" Sambil makan kuih cakar ayam. [How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours]

I do have flaws. Many. So what? I can't even even eat my meal properly until the end. So what? I love to speed. So what? I kind of attached to my phone. So what? I left my belongings often, misplace, losing, every now and then. So what? I never can do anything right. From your sight. Am tired of wiping these tears that you never seen. Will you suffer if i live my life as it is? Like I care even if you do. For cannot stand these flaws of mine, is your only biggest flaw that i cannot stand. Now that you know, this is my life, I won't be told what supposed to be right. [How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours]

Dah bulan 3. Gigit sepuluh jari kuat-kuat! [How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours]